"Stevenisms"

In my family we have coined the term "Stevenism" because my brother-in-law truly is one of a kind. I don't know where he comes up with half of the stuff he says but I hope Randi and Steven make cute babies that are as full of giggles and wit as these two. I'm glad Randi started writing them down. I hope you enjoy them even if you don't know Steven personally. If it helps at all Randi and Steven were made for each other--so if you know Randi imagine a male version and you have Steven. Here are a few that made me laugh outloud:

Steven: "You know what's funny about babies?"
Randi: "Lotsa things. But what specifically are you thinking of?"
Steven: "Well, when they're inside you, it's still only one admission. Then, the next day, it's two! Except for flying; then it's still one for a while. But then soon, it's two! It's like trafficking babies! .... Do you want to traffic a baby?"

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Steven: "I'm an avocado."
Randi: "You wish you were."
Steven: "Why do I wish that?"
Randi: "You'd be green and edible."
Steven: ".... Would you eat me?"
Randi: "Of course I'd eat you."
Steven: "But... WHY?"
Randi: "If you were an avocado I'd eat you because if I didn't you'd just turn black and go bad."
Steven: "... So... You're a racist?"

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What will he think of next?!